Eileen and Rick

One day our friend Rick was taking Eileen somewhere in his car. He got her into the front seat, wheelchair in the trunk... then, just being cute and funny, he threw a handful of condoms into Eileen's then-79 year old lap. Eileen said "No, thanks, I have some." Rick was speechless.... it took them a couple of minutes to sort it out, and then they both laughed and laughed.... Eileen had thought he was giving her breath mints, and she already had some in her purse! Eileen told that story over and over again... she thought it was a hoot.

The following January, I came home to an answering machine with birthday greetings, including Rick's complete rendition of "Happy Birthday." About two weeks later, I received a phone call from a friend -- Rick had taken his own life. He was a handsome, smart, very funny man who had battled depression for years -- and who finally surrendered to that darkness. I talked to Paul, and we agreed to meet at Eileen's at 7:30 the following morning, to tell her in person about Rick before we went to work.

Eileen knew that something was up -- it was very unusual for us to visit her so early on a weekday. We sat at her kitchen table with our tea... and told her about Rick. The three of us sat there for a long time, telling stories and grieving for our friend.

We buried Rick's ashes in the Memorial Garden at St. John's. Eileen continued to talk about him, and continued to tell the story about the condoms in Rick's car.